Working Mom Guilt

I know all moms experience some levels of "mommy guilt." However, I'd like to contend that working moms have it worst of all. Not only do we have guilt about what we are or are not doing for our children, but we also have guilt about what we are or are not doing for our jobs. Let me illustrate my point:

Today Quin has a doctor's appointment. I decided several months ago that I would commit to taking him to this appointment. I was not available for his last few and felt guilty that I wasn't there for him. So, I put today on my calendar and decided that I would take the day to go to the appointment and be with him. I envisioned us going out to lunch and perhaps going to Discovery Place to play in Kid's Science. I was all set to have a great day with my little man.

Then, November arrived. Do you know how many days I have been out of my building this month? It's kind of crazy. I've been gone every Thursday for a Learn and Lead. Add to that the days I have had meetings. I feel like I've hardly been able to get my teachers and students the time they need. I've worked my schedule to still accomplish everything, but I've still felt really disconnected from the staff. A few weeks ago I committed to presenting a professional development on student engagement at tomorrow's staff meeting. I'd prepared the power point a while ago, but still needed to get the materials together. Plus, I'd really hoped to have some time to rehearse pieces of the PD to make sure my timing was right. Maybe I can rehearse for Quin and the other babies at Discovery Place?!?!

Needless to say, I'm feeling guilt from both sides today. Part of me wishes that I was going to work, preparing for tomorrow and getting in classrooms to support teachers and students. The other part of me then gets annoyed because I should be happy to be spending the day with Quin. I made a commitment to him and he deserves to have me fully present today.

I'm sure that what I'm feeling today is perfectly normal, but that doesn't make it feel good. I hope with time I will become more confident in the choices I make so that I do not constantly feel this internal struggle.