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Weekend Review

Friday Evening: Joel and I met Quin at Dish for dinner. We learned that Quin LOVES green beans and salmon patties. We do not have a picky eater at all. I am very thankful for this.

Saturday Morning: Quin woke up early (uh). He and I played around and had a quick breakfast of yogurt with banana. At around 9:30 we left home to run some errands. First we started at Flying Biscuit where Joel and I got some breakfast (Quin was asleep). Then we went to Toys and Co to check out some ideas for Christmas for Quin. I can't decide what I would like to get him. After that we headed to Kixx to get Quin his first pair of shoes. Since he isn't walking yet, we still were able to get shoes that are sized like his clothing. They told us once he is walking they'll measure his feet to get his shoe size. Though we have a little peanut in terms of height/weight, he is definitely ahead of the curve when it comes to his feet. We couldn't even get the 6-12 month shoes on! He ended up buying a pair of 12-18 month shoes and a pair of 18-24. They were buy 1 get 1 half off so it seemed to make sense. I actually think he likes wearing the shoes because it's easier for him to stand up and move around. After we got his shoes we went to Dilworth Parks and Rec for our first Music Together class. I wasn't sure how Quin would react to being around so many other kids, but he dove right in. As soon as I got his coat off he went to visit a little boy named Myles. Myles is about a month older than Quin. Then a little girl named Brynn came in. She is also a month older than Quin. Quin headed right over to see her. They had fun trying to touch each other's faces. When Ms. Liz started playing her guitar Quin was totally enraptured. He had a great time listening to the songs and playing with the different instruments. Joel and I enjoyed having this experience with him. I enjoyed meeting other working moms with kids Quin's age. This will definitely be something for us to look forward to each week.

Saturday Afternoon/Evening: Quin took a great nap after Music Together. While he was napping I went shopping. Our refrigerator was completely empty so it was quite a big shopping day. I also picked up some basics from Target. After I got home and everything was put away, we loaded back up and went to McGill Rose Garden to pick out our Christmas tree. It was really nice because they didn't have a huge selection, but had enough choices that I felt like I could think about which tree would be best for our house. Even better was that the garden is only about 12 blocks from our house so we didn't have to drive far with the tree. When we got home Joel got it in the base, we strung the lights and I put ornaments on. Quin only destroyed one ornament so that was a plus. He's been really respectful of the tree, but definitely likes feeling the texture of the branches. This year I only put silver ornaments on the tree. I think it could probably use some more, but it's a decent start. I know our ornament collection will probably grow quite a bit as Quin gets older and starts making ornaments for us to hang on the tree!

Sunday: Quin let us sleep in!!!! None of us got up until about 8:00. It felt absolutely wonderful! We had a lazy morning. I fixed banana oatmeal pancakes for breakfast. We made it to church (2 weeks in a row!) and went out to lunch afterwards. Quin and I took a nap together this afternoon. That is a feeling I am really going to miss when he gets older. I love cuddling together on a Sunday afternoon. Joel took him for a walk when he woke up so I could get some work done. I have a little of little things on my plate right now. I am trying to make the most of the next two weeks. I know some people may just be counting down the days until break, but I think we have the opportunity to do some powerful work in this time.

There you have it. Our weekend in in a nutshell. We didn't do everything I wanted to do this weekend, but we were able to find a nice balance of relaxation and fun.

Daycare

Today Joel and I made the very tough decision to transition Quin to daycare. We have absolutely loved having someone come to our home to take care of him for the past few months, but it is time for us to make a change. When we first started thinking about child care I couldn't imagine my little guy laying in a crib all day long. Now that he is more mobile and will probably be walking soon I can imagine him engaging in lots of different kinds of play. Being at a daycare center will give him an opportunity to be out of the house, meet new friends, and be exposed to great early childhood care.

We have decided to go with a Childcare Network center near our home. Quin's teachers are bilingual and do activities during the day in both English and Spanish. The class of children is very diverse and most of the families live near us. Each day the kids play outside, have story time, play in age appropriate centers, sing songs, do science activities, and do some kind of art. Knowing more about pre-k allowed me to more critically evaluate the types of activities they do with the children and I am confident that he is going to get exposure to all the right things.

We won't be starting until after his birthday in early February. I wanted to give our current nanny plenty of notice (we told her today) since she has been so great for our family. We also have about 4 weeks between now and February that we won't need childcare. I really didn't want to have to pay for weeks that we wouldn't be using. I know this will be a big change for our family,but I have no doubt that it is the right decision for us.I'm thankful I was able to make this decision when I was ready and on my own terms. I know not all mothers have this luxury.

Big Ten Basketball

I am so happy that basketball season is upon us. In some ways it reminds me of last spring when I was home on maternity leave with Quin. I watched tons of basketball. It was really great. Tonight I've been watching the big ten/acc challenge as Illinois takes on Maryland. Whenever I watch basketball on TV I get the urge to play again. I discovered a couple of days ago that one of the assistants that works at our school is originally form Iowa and I probably played against her at some point in my AAU/high school career.Small world right?

I wonder how my life would have been different if I had been more invested in the sport? It's not that I didn't enjoy playing, but it wasn't my passion. If I had been more invested I could have probably pushed myself to go further. I just didn't have it in me. On the other hand, I wonder what life had been like if I hadn't ever played. Through basketball I learned how to push my body to its limits. I learned how to manage my time when I was being pulled in multiple directions. This skill is definitely serving me well now.

There aren't many feelings as good as the adrenaline rush you get in a close game. But the feeling I get knowing that I am making change for kids is far better. Though I didn't go as far as I could have with the game, I got what I needed from it. I learned valuable life skills that make me a stronger leader today.

Boys Club

Today I had the first meeting with my fourth grade boys. We will be meeting every Monday and Friday to read, develop investment in education and promote positive school behaviors. It's really nice for me because I have an opportunity to put my teacher hat back on and really work with some kids. Today's meeting was a good first start. We developed meeting norms and the boys made commitments for behavior for the next 15 days of school before winter break. The boys definitely know what the right things to say are. I hope in our work together we can get them doing the right thing more often. Stay tuned for what happens in my work with these students.

How is it already Advent?

Joel, Quin and I took the warm temperature as an opportunity to walk to church today. To be honest, it's been a while since we've been there. Between Quin's nap schedule and our work we just have not made it a priority over the past few months. It had become such a low priority that I didn't even realize it was already Advent! Though I should have known - people are getting their Christmas trees, holiday music is on the radio. This year is just flying by and I am barely keeping up with it all.

Today's service was a folk service. The music was great and just enough to get me in the spirit, but not completely over the top. I think that's what I love about Plaza. I find so much peace there. The services are relatively low key and it gives me an hour to just sit and reflect. It doesn't hurt that I also put my child in the hands of a trustworthy teenager and don't have to worry about what he is getting into. I need this time to find my center going into the week. It's one thing I know I can do once a week to get my head back together. Now is just a matter of doing it on a regular basis.

Sleep

I feel like all I have wanted to do the past few days is sleep. I've been going to bed when Quin goes to bed and taking at least a little afternoon nap each day. The only problem with this is that life is feeling a little foggy. I'm sure this is exactly what my body needs. I haven't done a great job getting a good night's rest since I started working in August. Before that I wasn't sleeping much because I was at Foundations.The months prior to Foundations Quin wasn't sleeping through the night and I wasn't really sleeping well at the end of my pregnancy. It's probably been almost a year since I really had a good sleep! Thinking about it in those terms makes me feel a lot less guilty for wanting to just lay around and rest!

Moving forward, I wonder how I can do a better job of taking care of myself in this regard. I know it probably means I need to cut out some of the nightly TV watching and allow myself to go to sleep earlier. It also means finding a mental peace so I can sleep soundly. The work will never be finished, but it will still be there tomorrow. How can I get to a point that I feel ok leaving it for another day? I know I don't need to be superwoman, but I can't help feeling like I need to accomplish all of the goals I set for a given day.

Thanksgiving Day Menu

Quin is napping so Joel and I are taking the next little bit to get a move on with our Thanksgiving dinner. I set the table this morning. I went with a very simple center piece - a vase of parsley, a small pumpkin, and an acorn squash. I also pulled out our china and silver. This will be the first time since we got married that Joel and I have actually used these dishes. I need to bring them out more often because they are so pretty. Quin, however, will still be eating on plastic. Maybe next year I'll be able to trust him with something more fancy. We plan to eat around 4.

This year Joel had a great idea. I mentioned in a previous blog that Joel suggested we do something more nontraditional. I wasn't game for that so he suggested we do a "Thanksgiving Draft." We listed the 8 key components to a traditional meal, each selected 4 to be in charge of and put our own spin on the dish.

I am in charge of the following:

Turkey breast - smoked on the grill with pomegranate sauce (recipe in the current Cooking Light)

Cranberries - cranberry ice (recipe compliments of my grandma Bonnie)

"Other" colored veggie - shaved root veggie salad with parsley and lemon dressing (inspired by a salad I had at the Washington Grand Hyatt)

Dessert - Pumpkin Spice Cake (recipe via Martha Stewart)

Joel is in charge of:

Potato - potato pancakes

Green veggie - roasted broccoli and cauliflower

Stuffing - he's making this up and I'm still not sure what he decided on, it will be a surprise! 

Rolls - classic Pillsbury crescent rolls

It's been really fun for each of us to plan our parts. Sure, I'm going to miss Brussels sprouts and pumpkin pie, but we are definitely still getting all of the traditional Thanksgiving flavors. In fact, I think this year's meal is going to be on the lighter side. For this I am thankful!

Extreme Couponing

Last night I somehow got sucked into watching several episodes of extreme couponing. I have mixed feelings about what these ladies do. First, I think it is commendable that they can get the quantity of items they do for absolutely nothing. They spend hours on end planning their shopping trips and I'm sure it takes a high level of skill. That being said, I really don't understand why you need a stockpile of tens of thousands of goods. I can completely get on board with having things on hand that you use on a regular basis and know you will need, but what exactly is the purpose of having 5000 toothbrushes?

One woman did a shopping trip for her local shelter. Another made donations to a food bank. This makes perfect sense. Why not get items for free and donate them to those in need? This allows families that are in need to have access to supplies.

I certainly do not have 30 hours a week to donate to an extreme couponing effort, but I wonder if I could be more diligent about looking for coupons for things we do actually use on a regular basis - laundry detergent, paper towels, toilet paper, toothpaste, deodorant, etc. I don't need a stockpile of thousands of items, but I wouldn't mind getting my basics for free. Maybe next month instead of throwing the sale circulars in the recycling bin, I'll actually look through them. Or maybe I won't...

Vacation

At 7pm I left the office. It was a long day made even longer with a situation with one of our pre-kindergarten students not being picked up from the bus and no one answering when we tried to call them. It was really upsetting and I'm not sure we have the answers yet as to why this happened. Thankfully his aunt finally came. We will have to figure out what happened next week when we meet with his parents.

So now I am on vacation. I'm supposed to be relaxing, but all I can think about are the things I need to do - the emails that need sent, the plans that need finished, the copies that need to be made. It's actually really annoying that my mind is going like this. Perhaps part of the reason is that I got really useful feedback during my two by two conversation with my host principal today. I want to get to work.

My goal, however, is to not think about work until Friday at the earliest. Tomorrow I need to go buy the rest of the ingredients for Thanksgiving, prep some of the components and spend some time with Quin. Then Thursday we are going to enjoy a nice day together as a family. I have got to get out of work mode ASAP in order to enjoy this time together.

HOA Board

Tonight after work we had the first meeting of our HOA. The units in our building are finally starting to sell so it was important to get the HOA up and running. Somehow at this meeting I became the secretary/treasurer of the board. I am actually happy to represent those of us that have owned in the building longer. I think I'm a little more calm and collaborative than some of the other owners. However, I know that I will probably not want to serve in this role for too long. I'm happy to do it while we get things going, but I really don't want to deal with all the drama that could surround the HOA in the future.

The one battle I know I'm going to have to fight is the boys club attitude of the two other board members. They work for the company that bought the unsold units. They were really pushing for another man to serve on the board. Unfortunately for them Joel wasn't interested and the two other male owners weren't present at the meeting. I have a feeling I will be utilizing many of the leadership skills I'm learning and practicing at work in my dealings with these gentlemen. This is yet another arena for me to practice building relationships and exercising leadership. I'm sure I will have much to write about as we move forward in this work.

Feedback

This week we are only working two days before we will be breaking for the Thanksgiving holiday. During these two days I have an opportunity to sit down with my host principal and go through a protocol called a two by two. Essentially during this process we give each other feedback on how things are going so far. I've experienced the two by two process before - when working at Institute. I know that this can be a really positive experience. In fact, I would credit my first two by two experience with guiding me to where I am today. I had never received such meaningful feedback before. It was really powerful.

Of course I would love for this week's two by two to be as meaningful as that one during the summer of 2009. However, I need to be realistic. My host principal is not the same person. She doesn't have experience giving and receiving this kind of feedback. We do not have the same kind of relationship. Therefore, I need to be very clear in what I need from this conversation. I need to leave the conversation with a clear understanding of my host principal's vision for the school, how all of our initiatives fit into this vision and what she wants my role to be going forward. I think this is particularly important since one of our assistant principals is moving and will not be with us after Tuesday. All of our roles will have to change to fill the gap that she leaves.

I also need to leave the conversation with real feedback on my performance thus far. My host principal is very well respected in the district and should have a good idea of what I need to focus on to strengthen my leadership as I prepare to apply for the principal pool this spring.

Finally, I hope to leave the conversation with a stronger relationship than we had going in. I very much want to learn from my host principal and her experiences. I want to get inside her head and understand how and why she makes certain decisions. In order to have this kind of relationship we have to trust each other. I think we have both kept each other at a distance up until this point. That kind of relationship is not what I want. I need to take the first step in letting my guard down and hopefully in my trust of her she will find more trust for me.

This feedback process has the possibility to be a turning point in my work. At the very least I hope that I take a step in the direction of building a more trusting relationship with my host principal.

Non-Traditional Thanksgiving?

Joel and I had talked about inviting friends over for Thanksgiving this year. However, it looks like most folks are heading out of town. No biggie. It's Quin's first Thanksgiving so I thought I would go ahead and cook our normal favorites - turkey breast, stuffing, sauteed brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes, cranberry salad and pumpkin pie. The other day on the way to work, though, Joel mentioned doing something more non-traditional. We could have Chinese takeout or pizza. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I love Thanksgiving foods. In fact, one of my favorite memories is of Thanksgiving when I was in high school - maybe my sophomore year? Anyway, we had our normal Thanksgiving, but my sister had a post Thanksgiving basketball tournament. I had basketball in Cedar Rapids so I didn't travel with the family to Libby's tournament. I have great memories of staying up late, watching TV and eating Thanksgiving leftovers - mashed potatoes topped with stuffing, then turkey, then cranberry salad (there were never any brussels sprouts left). It was this wonderful moment of being in charge of myself, while still being comforted by the flavors of our family.

These feelings are the ones I want Quin to have. I want him to look forward to the foods our family eats each holiday - corned beef hash and eggs on Christmas morning, cranberry salad for Thanksgiving, lamb at Easter, cherry angel food cake for my birthday. I know that he won't remember this particular holiday because he's too young, but I don't really want to get in the habit of deviating from our traditions. Or maybe the real issue here is that I want to eat our traditional foods because I want to feel the comfort associated with these foods and I'm using Quin as my excuse for not wanting to do something more non-traditional.

I only have a few more days to decide what we're going to do. Thankfully it is just the three of us so it won't be particularly difficult to get the necessary Thanksgiving supplies if we ultimately choose to go the more traditional route. I'll let you know next week what we decide.

Separation Anxiety

We hit a very special milestone in our house this week. Quin has developed some separation anxiety. In the mornings as I'm gathering my things to head out the door his little lower lip sticks out and begins to quiver. The babysitter said that the first day he cried for more than 15 minutes after I left. I know this is a completely normal phase and if he wasn't beginning to go through it then there would be something to worry about, but it certainly pulls on my heartstrings.

None of the feelings are made easier on days like today. Quin slept in this morning and was just waking up when I was leaving. When I got home tonight he had already fallen asleep. It's hard for me to know that he was sad when I left and then never got to see me again. He will see me a few minutes tomorrow morning, but then not again until later tomorrow evening - this week I've been working longer hours than  over the past few weeks.

Like all phases I know this one of separation anxiety will pass with time. In the meantime I hope I can balance my schedule to allow as much time for Quin as possible.

Time

This morning I had the privilege of presenting a professional development to our staff. I had about 40 minutes to do so. Most people were very engaged and gave positive feedback. Those that were not as positive were definitely aligned to my thinking - they didn't have enough time to process! Forty minutes really doesn't afford much time to really dig into a topic. I did my best to keep the pace moving and get staff engaged, but would have loved to be able to dive in more deeply, give staff a chance to ask questions, and discuss the content with one another. Really all I needed was another 20 minutes. It would have been great.

This experience does help me think about what I would want to do with my future staff. I think it's really important for a whole group professional development to set up the work that will be done in small groups and for one week to flow into the next. With structure a short amount of time can feel as productive if not more than a 90 minute session. For example, I'm currently doing a series of sessions with my fourth grade teachers. We are having an amazing time, but only have 30 minutes per session. Each week flows smoothly from the last and the conversations seem to be getting more and more rich over time. This week we wrote a goal for literacy improvement over the rest of this quarter. Everyone agreed and was really excited about the work we are going to do together.

Striking the balance of how to use time, resources, and energy is important, but challenging when the stakes are so high. There are hundreds of students counting on us to get this right. A coordinated effort that makes sense to staff and maximizes time seems to be the key to successful professional development.

Working Mom Guilt

I know all moms experience some levels of "mommy guilt." However, I'd like to contend that working moms have it worst of all. Not only do we have guilt about what we are or are not doing for our children, but we also have guilt about what we are or are not doing for our jobs. Let me illustrate my point:

Today Quin has a doctor's appointment. I decided several months ago that I would commit to taking him to this appointment. I was not available for his last few and felt guilty that I wasn't there for him. So, I put today on my calendar and decided that I would take the day to go to the appointment and be with him. I envisioned us going out to lunch and perhaps going to Discovery Place to play in Kid's Science. I was all set to have a great day with my little man.

Then, November arrived. Do you know how many days I have been out of my building this month? It's kind of crazy. I've been gone every Thursday for a Learn and Lead. Add to that the days I have had meetings. I feel like I've hardly been able to get my teachers and students the time they need. I've worked my schedule to still accomplish everything, but I've still felt really disconnected from the staff. A few weeks ago I committed to presenting a professional development on student engagement at tomorrow's staff meeting. I'd prepared the power point a while ago, but still needed to get the materials together. Plus, I'd really hoped to have some time to rehearse pieces of the PD to make sure my timing was right. Maybe I can rehearse for Quin and the other babies at Discovery Place?!?!

Needless to say, I'm feeling guilt from both sides today. Part of me wishes that I was going to work, preparing for tomorrow and getting in classrooms to support teachers and students. The other part of me then gets annoyed because I should be happy to be spending the day with Quin. I made a commitment to him and he deserves to have me fully present today.

I'm sure that what I'm feeling today is perfectly normal, but that doesn't make it feel good. I hope with time I will become more confident in the choices I make so that I do not constantly feel this internal struggle.

Back to Basics

Last week I was talking with Brandy about the need to act. I was feeling overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of things that need to be done to make my school really great for kids. Brandy reminded me that change isn't always pretty or packed in a box tied with a perfect bow. Sometimes we have to just take an action. So today I went back to basics. I observed two teachers and am engaging in co-investigation conversations with them. Thanks to the TFA Solution's Center and my RBT books, I've found a lot of really great resources to support my teachers. If I can do nothing else, I can co-investigate. I suppose the heart of being an instructional leader is this process. Through this, I should be building the capacity of my teachers and impacting the work they are doing with students. Before we leave for Thanksgiving vacation I will have co-investigated with all 8 of my fourth grade teachers. I hope to see changes in our student achievement data before we leave for winter break. The time to act is now.

Good Morning

I do not know what the deal is with my internal clock these days. I could easily fall asleep by about 8:30 and am wide awake at 6. It's got me wondering if it's my body's way of helping me get more accomplished during the day. I am definitely a morning person. I do my best thinking in the morning. For example, this morning while I was laying in bed contemplating why I was wide awake, it occurred to me that this was a prime opportunity to work with the data that I received from my personal leadership survey. No one else was awake to bother me. There weren't any loud noises outside. I could just think. Amazingly enough in about 15 minutes I had data analyzed, graphs created and an email crafted to send to my staff with reflections. Ahh productivity.

I could never accomplish that much in that short of time at 8pm. There are too many distractions - TV, cars in the parking lot, phone calls. I'm also way too tired by 8pm. By that point my brain has been working all day and it's just plain tired. Knowing this about myself, I think I really need to think about my daily routines and whether I am actually maximizing my time. How could I rearrange my schedule to allow myself more early morning productivity?

Vacation Day

Today I learned the greatest part of Joel and I both working in schools: we have the same holidays! An extra day of family time is really nice and having both of us home makes it even better. We started the long weekend off last night with dinner with some fellow New Leader residents at Lang Van. Of course as soon as we walked in Quin was the king of the restaurant. The owner snatched him right up and took him to see the cooks in the kitchen. Normally a mom might be freaked out having a stranger take her baby upon entering a restaurant, but the folks at Lang Van are hardly strangers. In fact, most of the staff knows exactly what I order (#72) before I have a chance to look at the menu! Quin had a great time and was a perfectly pleasant dinner guest. He ate a ton of chicken, rice and veggies straight from chopsticks.

I had dreams of sleeping in this morning, but I've come to realize that my dreams of sleeping past 7 are a fantasy at this point. I know I could have put my child on the 9pm-9am schedule, but I really like the 7pm-7am schedule on weekdays. It gives us a few minutes to be together in the mornings before I leave for work, plenty of play time when Joel and I get home, but most importantly time for Joel and I to spend together before we both pass out from exhaustion.

Anyway, after waking up at our normal time this morning we all got ready for the day, packed a bag for Quin and headed to Discovery Place just before they opened at 9am. I have been looking forward to seeing the Mummies exhibit and Joel has been eager to take Quin to Kid's Science. We spent about 2 hours at the museum. The Mummies exhibit was really neat, although a little creepy (especially the young children and babies). The best part of our time though was watching Quin play in Kid's Science. He crawled all around, rode on a little car toy and played in the water table. He had tons of fun exploring and watching other kids. He doesn't have a lot of interactions with other children since most days he's alone with the nanny (unless they go out for swimming lessons or story time). I think he's ready to start adventuring out into the world and seeing more babies and toddlers.

Speaking of getting out, I signed us up for Music Together. We are going to do the holiday session on Saturday mornings. It begins after Thanksgiving and runs up until Christmas. I'm looking forward to having this time to spend together. It isn't common for me to find these kinds of experiences on weekends. I appreciate that they consider the desire of working parents to participate in this experience with their children. It certainly doesn't help the working mom guilt much when you find a really cool activity you'd love to participate in with your child, but find that they only have weekday times (like swimming lessons!). However, we are very fortunate to be able to have someone that can take Quin to activities during the day even though we aren't home.

I'm looking forward to what the rest of the weekend has to offer - a baby shower this evening, Panther's game on Sunday, and lots of relaxation!

After 6 consecutive days of not forgetting to blog, I forgot on day 7. This seems to be the story of my life these days. I can stay focused for a few days, but then I seem to get off track. Life happens. Distractions happen. Yesterday I participated in an evening conference call, made dinner for us (baked apples) and then put Quin to bed. Afterwards I took some time to catch up with a friend and make sure I was prepared for my meeting today. By the time 10:00 rolled around all I could think about was going to bed. When my alarm went off this morning the first thing I thought was, sh*t I forgot to blog.

I know it really is not that big of a deal that I forgot, but I feel like it is one more instance of me on taking the time to follow through on the commitments I make to myself. I have been putting everything else first and I do not like that. There has to come a point where I can say that the commitments I make to myself are just as important, if not more important than those that I make to others. It would be easy for me to just blame this problem on my mom. She wasn't a very good example when it comes to this area of life, but, in reality, I am the one that has control of my decisions regardless of what I saw as a kid. Additionally, putting my promises to myself on the back burner has worked for me so far. I've gotten where I am today and I have a pretty great life. Could it be more rich? Absolutely. Therefore, the work I need to continue to do is keep promises I keep to myself. Little by little I will be able to reclaim more of the time during the day.

Peek-A-Boo

This evening I had the pleasure of spending the night with Quin alone. Joel had a Teach Charlotte meeting so after I dropped him off at that I came home about 30 minutes earlier than I normally do. Quin was in a great mood when I got home. I've been trying to play peek-a-boo with him for a few weeks, but he just didn't really get it. He liked when I would hide behind a wall and jump out, but when I was right there he just didn't get the thrill. Well tonight completely changed that! Quin discovered that peek-a-boo is actually a really hilarious game. I'm pretty sure we played for about 15 minutes. By the end he was pulling my hands over my eyes and then pulling them apart. The smile on his face was absolutely priceless. It just was one of those moments that was so simple and pure.

I wonder in the chaos of the last few months if I've been able to enjoy the little moments with him. How many things did I miss because I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts or too tired to really engage with him in a meaningful way? I don't want to look back on this first year and have regret. It's important that I take the opportunities that I do have to spend one-on-one time with Quin. If I have a chance to come home 30 minutes earlier, I should. If Quin wakes up 10 minutes early, we should spend it together. I need to get as much work done during the week so I can devote my weekends to him.

We both deserve the time together.

Feedback

Today I sent a survey out to the staff that I work most closely with. I wanted to get a better gauge of how people perceive my interactions with them and help me refine my personal leadership goals for this year. The funny thing to me about this survey is that I really do want honest feedback. I know I cannot be a great school leader if I don't have a good idea of my blind spots and my areas for growth. Knowing all this, though, doesn't keep some of the feedback from stinging a bit. I've been reading responses as they have been coming in and when someone has something less than favorable to say I have to really work hard to keep myself from making excuses. I know I need to take the comments for what they are and think about the actions that I need to modify. The reality is I'm getting a lot of positive feedback. I need to work hard to keep myself from feeling defeated by the areas for continued growth.

Here are some things I know I need to focus on in the next few weeks:
1. Giving positive feedback to all staff members, not just teachers.
2. Reach out to people I haven't gone to yet for input on systems and operations.
3. Be as present in the main building as I am in the annex.

To be successful in these three areas I am going to have to process through my feelings about my place in our school community more. I feel myself wanting to keep a certain distance because my time is *theoretically* limited, but at the same time I really want to be a part of the community. I want to develop long-lasting relationships with staff and families. I wonder what I'm so scared of that I feel like I need to keep this distance - they'll forget about me...the work I do won't be enough...I won't be successful in the future and I'll prove people right...???

I'll continue to reflect on these thoughts and seek feedback. The work isn't easy, but I feel so much more self-aware than I did a few months ago. It's great to feel so much more in tune with myself. Any bad feeling that I may have to stomach for a few hours is worth it.

What's for Dinner?

A few years ago I was an avid Cooking Light reader. Each month the magazine would arrive and I would pour over the recipes planning a menu for the month. Joel and I ate really well those days. Well then pregnancy happened and I never knew what I would want from day to day. Then Quin happened and I wasn't sure I'd have the energy to grocery shop. Then principal residency happened and I was struggling to keep my head above water, let alone cook a meal for my family. There have been a few too many Domino's hot 'n ready pizzas this fall.

Last week I finally took a peak at the October/November Cooking Light and though I didn't sit down to read each article and wish I was traveling around the country/world tasting all that each city has to offer, I did skim through and pull out some recipes to try for the week. Last week we feasted on butternut squash, spinach and caramelized onion lasagne and turkey squash, mushroom and potato gratin amongst other delicious casserole type dishes.

This week I decided to head to Cooking Light once again. I had a nice time shopping for ingredients and thinking about what I will make each night. Even though "falling back" has caused it to get dark earlier, I hope I will be able to combat the sleepy winter nights by committing to cook dinner for our family each night.

Here's what's for dinner this week:

Steamed Clams with White Wine and Tomato

Savory Baked Apples

Cantonese Style Shrimp and Napa Cabbage

Sloppy Joe Sliders

Wardrobe Update

I wish this post were about a wardrobe update for me. Alas, it is about Quin's wardrobe. Mine will have to wait until later seeing as I fit in my clothes and he has outgrown most of his! I've been on the hunt for new clothes for him for a few weeks. Primarily I was looking for something for him to wear for some holiday pictures. I was finding this search very frustrating because despite the numerous holiday collections at the standard baby retailers, I couldn't find anything that seemed quite right. Everything was either too cutesy (Janie and Jack, Gymboree) or too mature (babyGap). Speaking of babyGap, let's talk about how nearly every item in the store has a skull on it. We're talking perfectly adorable sweaters made weird by adding skulls.

In the end, however, I still ended up going with some things from babyGap. I really wanted to boycott, but I found the basics I was looking for and couldn't pass up $40 off a purchase of $100.

Here are some of our finds: 

 

This hat will be very cute with the coat we got for him (unavailable online so no picture).

 Corduroy pants - good for a picture and for play time.

 

Joel thought this sweater was a little girly, but I convinced him it will make for a great holiday photo!

 

Quin needed more long sleeved shirts and I thought this one was cute. It was also a plus that it didn't have words on it - one of my biggest baby attire pet peeves.

 I love this for under the red sweater with the cords. Pictures of Quin in this outfit will be forthcoming! 

After we finished at babyGap we hit up the food court for lunch. Quin and I shared a baked potato while Joel had something from Showmar's. I'm pretty sure sharing lunch with Quin is really good portion control for me. I spend more time feeding him than I do myself and I'm pretty sure he eats more of whatever we share! We clearly do not have a picky eater. 

Before heading home we decided to hit up The Container Store. We hadn't been there since they opened in August. I must have been in a weird mood because I could normally go crazy in this kind of store. Not so much today. I actually didn't see anything I was dying to have. However, I would LOVE to hit up the store after Christmas to get some deals on holiday wrapping for next year. I've started buying wrapping supplies a year ahead of time. Doing this has allowed me to get some really great gift wrap from Crate and Barrel for a steal! This year I will definitely be checking out The Container Store. 

I should have taken some time today to do some work, but I was having such a nice time with Joel and Quin that I didn't want to pull myself away. I think this was the right decision for today.

Nine Months

A lot can happen in nine months - school years pass, babies are born. Today marks nine months since Quin was born. A lot has happened since February 4. I thought it would be fitting to take some time to list the nine highlights of the past nine months.

1. Quin is born.
2. I was accepted into Cohort 11 of Charlotte New Leaders.
3. Joel was accepted into Teach Charlotte.
4. Quin met all developmental milestones.
5.Quin started sleeping through the night. 
6. First family trip to the pumpkin patch.
7. I began developing great relationships with fellow residents.
8. Quin and Joel took a trip together to St. Louis.
9. As a family we began to find our stride together. 

Time certainly has flown by. It's important that we stop every now and then to think about all of the great moments. I need to keep these and other moments in mind when things aren't going so well.

30 Day Commitment

Today we had a learn and lead and one of my fellow cohort members shared a great Ted talk about making a commitment for 30 days. You can do anything for 30 days right? You can check out the video here: http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html

At the end of watching and discussing this video we all decided to commit to do something in our residency sites for 30 days. I decided to choose a class each day to eat lunch with. Over 30 days I won't be able to make it to every class, but I will have the opportunity to make it to most of them. I will prioritize pre-k and fourth grade since they are the grade levels I specifically support. I think this is a way not only for me to get to know teachers and students better, but also for them to get to know me. Far too much time has passed and I don't want to waste this opportunity to build relationships with the community in which I am working right now. I plan to make a schedule of lunches tomorrow and start immediately!

More personally, I decided that I will commit to this blog for the next 30 days. I think each day I will try to focus on one of the major aspects of my life and write down the good, bad, and ugly from that piece each day. My hope is that by making this commitment to myself I will prove that I do have time in the day for thoughtful reflection about the changes all around me.

With that my motherly duties call as I can see Quin rubbing his eyes from here.

Until tomorrow...

Me Time

Here's the thing about cooking. It's very therapeutic. Well, its therapeutic for me, anyway. I know some people don't love spending time in the kitchen, but I do. I suppose this is one of those things I got from my mom. I'm not super creative in the kitchen and I almost always follow a recipe, but the methodical nature of this is something I love. I've been known to bake when life is feeling extra chaotic. Cooking and baking puts me at peace. Today as I was preparing some recipes from this month's cooking light for us to eat for dinner this week I got to thinking about balance. I have a lot going on in my life these days and I've started to feel a little off. Not only do I have a nearly 9 month old son, but my husband and I have also changed careers this year.

Things that I used to make time for have fallen by the wayside. We used to go to church regularly, now it's once in a while. I used to go to the Y after work 3-5 days a week, now I can't remember the last time I was there. I used to read relatively frequently (even if just a magazine), now I fall asleep about  5 pages in. I used to make dinner every night, now I am tempted to stop for take out on the way home.

Other things have taken the place of things I used to prioritize: playing, bath time, making baby food, coaching teachers, analyzing data, meeting with parents, getting to know students, zoning out in front of the TV, and supporting my first year teacher husband.

What struck me today while I was cooking is that I may find myself feeling more balanced/put together if I start celebrating the pieces of my life. I've never been much of a writer, but I think there is value in celebrating the smaller moments of life. And if along the way other people connect with what I'm writing then so be it. So here's to putting the pieces of my life together!